Chocolate sales go sky high

Figures released today show that sales of Nestlé Kit-kat bars have gone up by a staggering 73%. This comes, of course, after Big Brother announced that one holder of a golden ticket found inside the wrapper of these bars would become a housemate.

This brilliant marketing strategy, coupled with the British public's incredible capacity for stupidity, has also lead to an increase in sales of several other items. Kittekat cat food, Kites with pictures of cats upon them and Kit cars have all seen a marked increase in sales, and MFI have been forced to issue a statement limiting customers to one fitted kitchen catalogue per visit, per day.

People, the tickets are in the chocolate.